Perfectly Lonely

"You're going to be married in a year" ...That's what my mom has been saying. "You should really think about getting married, it would help you out" Says Dad.

I say, no thanks, I'm too busy. I have too much baggage. I have nothing to offer. I'm waiting for Zachary Levi. Etc, etc, etc.
I use every excuse I can possibly make up, usually on the spot. But I'm afraid, the truth is that, I really am lonely. I miss having someone to share my days with. I miss having a mans voice in my home. I would say I miss having someone to sleep next to, but I currently share a room with my 2 little ones, our dog and our 2 kittens. They ALL sleep with me on our little bed. But I do miss having another person to carry them off to their own beds. I miss having movie watching companion, someone to read scriptures with in the morning. A make-out buddy, with a commitment. Of course, the other intimacies that come with being married.
I do have a lot of baggage, though. As I said I have 2 children,



Even though they are cute as heck, they are noisy rambunctious little children. And I'm pretty sure Christy is in the belief that any man I think is cute, must be Zac Levi. That would be my fault. I use his name as a cop out nearly every time. NO, I'm not really waiting for him. But I certainly wouldn't say no right away if he came waltzing into my life! Plus, we would make a cute couple, don't you think?!



Along with my two children, I have my dog, Jasper. He is a poodle-pom mix. The store called him a Pom-Poo-Poo. Don't tell my children, they think it's the funniest thing in the world.




I also have two kittens. Midnight is our black kitten, with green eyes. I call her the halloween cat. The silver/gray tabby is Gus-Gus. They are crazy, rambunctious and possibly more destructive than Ashley's children and my children put together. But I love them. Except when I have the joy of cleaning out the litter box..maybe if you want to convice me to get rid of them, do it while I'm elbow deep in kitty litter. But, I do love them. And I LOVE what they have done for my children.



As I'm writing this I'm thinking, look at all these "children" I have chosen to care for...how could I be lonely? What could possibly give a man cause to even think he could handle us? Well, I'm sure I have some good qualities to make us worthwhile. I can cook! I can sing, play piano and guitar. I scrapbook, love to travel, and I'm very nerdy. I'm a Comic-Con attendee and I sometimes watch movies, or read books, I probably shouldn't. But I do it, because well, I want to. I don't know that that's really a win. But it could be. I enjoy being outdoors, and being active. I love God. And I'm a Christian. I'm also partly Jewish. I love to celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas. I adore anything nautical or comic book related. I think I am pretty awesome. I don't know about awesomely pretty, but I'm not ugly either. Not to toot my own horn or anything. :-)

Of course, I'm not unhappy with my life. I love where I am. I love that I am confident in my skills as a mom, most days. I'm doing a lot of things that are out of my comfort zone, but I'm finding them to be easier and easier as I just do them. I'm always busy doing something, even if that something is lying out on the lawn reading a book, or taking my kids to the dollar movies. If it's too hot, we're at the canyon or the dinosaur museum. If it's too cold, we're inside playing games, roasting marshmallows in the fire place or snuggling up to a movie. Most days are "go go go". I love that. I love my kids. I love my fuzzy babies. I love my friends and my family. But I do miss having that special someone who I know is meant just for me. I am as John Mayer sings, Perfectly Lonely. But, "And this is not to say, There never comes a day, I'll take my chances and start again, And when I look behind, On all my younger times I have to thank the wrongs that led me to a love so strong" I look forward to having that love that is so strong. And sharing my life and love with my significant other. Zac Levi, take your time, though. I'm still in a hurry up and wait mode. I'm determined to enjoy every moment of my life and make a good lesson of my trials. And take the bumbs and bruises that come along with it. And maybe even the heartaches, and the loves too. After all, we only have one life and it's too short to concentrate on the negative things and put your life on hold while waiting for that person. I am Perfectly Lonely!



Had a little love, but I spread it thin
Falling in her arms and out again
Made a bad name for my game around town
Tore up my heart, and shut it down

Nothing to do
Nowhere to be
A simple little kind of free
Nothing to do
No one but me
And that's all I need

I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely (Yeah)
'Cause I don't belong to anyone
Nobody belongs to me

I see friends around from time to time
When their ladies let them slip away
And when they ask me how I'm doing with mine
This is always what I say

Nothing to do
Nowhere to be
A simple little kind of free
Nothing to do
No one to be
Is it really hard to see

Why I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely (Yeah)
'Cause I don't belong to anyone
Nobody belongs to me

And this is not to say
There never comes a day
I'll take my chances and start again
And when I look behind
On all my younger times
I have to thank the wrongs that led me to a love so strong

I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely (Yeah)
'Cause I don't belong to anyone
Nobody belongs to me

(It's the way, it's the way, it's the way that I want it)


XOXO, Aimee Lynn

Validation TJ Thyne (from Bones)

I love this video and feel like I need to post it at least once every few months!

Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

Now that I've been home in Utah, really home, things are starting to slow down so I can start the process for job and apartment hunting. Neither of these are an easy task. Especially when you add children into the mixture. Of course, I would never trade in my children to make my life easier, not that I don't on occasion fantasize about it. Of course, this only lasts about 2 seconds before I realize how much I would really miss the laughter and the love that can only come from your child. It's special to be somebody's parent. My kids stand up for me. Nobody can call me names, tease me, my own mom can't even tell me to take a shower with out my daughter saying, "My mom smells sweet, she doesn't need to shower." I just love that!
My Christy has been gone for the past two weeks. She will be with her dad until tomorrow. It's just been one - on - one with Wesley. I have enjoyed every second of our special time. He will be leaving to be at dad's for two weeks on Monday morning. I am excited as can be to have special time with my Christy, but I will miss my son so so much. He's a momma's boy. And I'm that boy's momma!
There are many things about Utah that I have missed. The beauty of the mountains. The waterfalls, the nature. My parents, my sisters and my brother. My wonderful friends. The fireworks!! There is something very special about finding those special friends. I've been mostly lucky in that department. I've written about our Thursday dinners before. And although they don't always happen on a Thursday, they are almost every week. I love being with good people, who love me and accept me just the way that I am. Those people can sometimes be hard to find.
As much as I am loving being back in Utah, I am missing a lot about California. For one thing, Comic Con is happening this week. I missed the Chuck Tweet-up Party, at which the cast showed up. Gah! The nerve of some people, having a Chuck party without me! ;-)
Last night as I was lamenting and throwing a mini fit over missing this grand festivity, I realized, I'm not really missing Chuck, Comic Con or California. I am really missing my Ramona Walking Buddy. But I don't like to get too sensitive, because I might cry, so Comic Con seemed a good cover up.
Ashley and I met in church. My first Sunday in that ward, I didn't know why, but I just felt the second she walked into Relief Society, that we HAD to be friends. I smiled at her and waved. Probably several times. She thought I was some weird-o that wouldn't leave her alone! I was nervous about being in a new ward, town...State! A few weeks into my move, I got a job. But my job didn't pay regularly and I was barely making it. Ashley took my two littles in while I worked. And knowing I didn't have any money, she allowed me to pay her as I got paid. I feel horrible sometimes about it, she often would watch them for little to nothing, and she included their lunch and snacks. Our children learned to play together. And as I would hang out for hours after work, we seemed to bond really well. We had a lot in common. Our longing to be at home with our children, our creativity (even though we express our creativity through other outlets), our love of cooking/baking, our poverty, and our carlessness. Often, she would take me out with her foodstamps and buy my groceries, and I would take what little money I had earned from that week, and buy her diapers and wipes. Mind you, we walked to the grocery store or Kmart to purchase all of these things. We walked to WIC offices together, trying to tame our toddlers. Our 4 children (and her one on the way - Ollie) were naughty most of the time. I'm sure some wondered how we did it. We wondered how we did it. Burger King closed their playground. (I'm quite certain our toddlers had something to do with it's demise...)
Ashely is a wonderful friend. She is always kind, optimistic and positive. She's always baking something, even when it's 110 degrees outside and her children are driving her crazy.
She gardens and sows, even into the wee hours of the morning. She definitely deserves the crown of Domestic Goddess. She's the friend that I know I can call on anytime, even at 2am and know that she will listen, completely. She's the friend that came and flushed my dead goldfish, and cleaned out the cupboards that contained a mouse, because I was too chicken to do it. She's the friend who said, "Of course you can do it" When I said that I was done. She believed in me always, even when I couldn't see anything.
I believe that the kind of person you are is reflected in your children. Ashley's children (along with being normal little rambunctious boys) are very kind-hearted. Always wanting to be their best, even when it's hard for them to be. I miss sweet little Caillou's heart felt, "Can I come play at your house?", "Will you come with me", etc..
Just a few days before I had to leave, I stopped by to check on little Ollie real quick before I had to head to a family gathering. When I got inside, Caillou came running straight out of the tub to see me. Great big smile. And Jasper was calling me. "Aimee Aimee" I have never in my life felt so loved, besides my own children of course. These boys are such angels. And just like my children, their horns are holding up those halos. :-)
Every problem we have had has either been solved or been made into something severely comical. Several times we wished for a video camera to film all of our adventures. I'm pretty sure a major network would have picked up our reality show in an instant. We are worth it! There was never, ever a dull moment when we got together. I love our little stitched together family. Yes, in the end of my little Ramona adventure, that is what she became. Ashley was more than just a friend, she was a Godsend. She was a sister. Those boys are just like my nephews. They are a major part of my family. They always will be.
I still don't understand all the reasons God had me go to Ramona, but I will be happy even if it was just to learn, and grow and laugh and gain a sister in all the process.

You're the best, Ashley!

I am so lucky to have such wonderful friends in my life, and even more so to have quite a few of them.

"Yesterday brought the beginning, tomorrow brings the end, and somewhere in the middle we became the best of friends. ~Author Unknown"

Passionate, Productive and Possitive

Kaytlyn, The girl with the golden hair. Kaytlyn came to visit and help us pack and clean up for our move back to Zion. She is amazing. She is a "feel-good" kind of person. I could not imagine life without her.

Our Souveniers from California: Gus-Gus and Midnight
We love our newest additions. They have just given Christy more than I even know how to express.

My dear friend Ashley and I with our darling babies. We walked almost everywhere together: the grocery stores, the WIC offices, McDonalds, Kmart, La Cocina, and Collier Park. We had so many great adventures and made many unforgettable memories.

Christy and Wesley love visiting Grandpa and Siobhan in Ranchita. This was one of the beautiful sunsets out there. It's beautiful.



So, I went to California. I did great things. Great things happened to me. I saw a lot of things I never would have. I learned a lot of things that I never would have. I am so grateful I moved to California. But, one thing I did learn was that, until Zac Levi wants to settle down with this cute girl, California was too expensive for this single mom and her two kids.
I had a lot of trials in Cali. I lost my car and my babysitter in about the same month. My clientele picked up really fast at first, and then wasn't enough to sustain a lifestyle out there. I mean any lifestyle. I even checked out the riverbeds for a place to stay one month while facing eviction.
Through these trials I learned quite a few things though. My family will always be there for me. Maybe not the way I think they should, but they are there regardless; Life is too short to be taken too seriously; Walking is actually enjoyable. I LOVE walking. It's even better if you do it with a friend and her darling little boys; just because a boy likes me, doesn't mean he is worthy of my time; Home is having your children with you; childhood is short, toddlers will be toddlers, etc, etc. The list could go on.
I am grateful for the time I spent in Cali. And I would like to plan to go back sometime. Or maybe, Ashely and Zac could move here?
As for the time being, I am back in Orem, Utah. I love catching up with my friends. Aubrey, Deven, Heather and Caulene took me out to lunch at Cafe Paesan the day after we got into town. And as wonderful as the food was, the reminder that we could just pick up where we left off and continue with our friendships was wonderful. It was refreshing. I am so looking forward to spending more time with them.
I'm excited for the adventures to be had here in Utah. I'm already getting excited to sign up for Sundance Film Festival, Festival of Trees and all of the marvelous activities that Utah has to offer.
As much as I miss my dear family and friends in Ramona, I know that this is where the Lord wants me to be for now. So, I'm holding my head up high and saying "Here I am, Life, give me what you've got". I know I can measure up to whatever life has in store for me.

My goals are to be productive, be positive and be passionate.

So, lets do this!