Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Theft - Warning for Women


You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys
removed by black-market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to
sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The
replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and
what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs.
Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans.
And then the thieves struck again.

My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to
match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my
new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I
realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts..

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing
my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro
with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body
was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck,
I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the
coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts -
stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something
'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?

These same thieves come in my closet and shrink my clothes! How do they do

Last year I thought someone had stolen my Boobs. I was lying in bed
and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that
they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden
in my waistband.

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night.


1 comment:

RJMcKinney said...

Brilliant, I thought I might cry from laughter. 'lifted' will never mean the same again