"You're going to be married in a year" ...That's what my mom has been saying. "You should really think about getting married, it would help you out" Says Dad.
I say, no thanks, I'm too busy. I have too much baggage. I have nothing to offer. I'm waiting for Zachary Levi. Etc, etc, etc.
I use every excuse I can possibly make up, usually on the spot. But I'm afraid, the truth is that, I really am lonely. I miss having someone to share my days with. I miss having a mans voice in my home. I would say I miss having someone to sleep next to, but I currently share a room with my 2 little ones, our dog and our 2 kittens. They ALL sleep with me on our little bed. But I do miss having another person to carry them off to their own beds. I miss having movie watching companion, someone to read scriptures with in the morning. A make-out buddy, with a commitment. Of course, the other intimacies that come with being married.
I do have a lot of baggage, though. As I said I have 2 children,
Even though they are cute as heck, they are noisy rambunctious little children. And I'm pretty sure Christy is in the belief that any man I think is cute, must be Zac Levi. That would be my fault. I use his name as a cop out nearly every time. NO, I'm not really waiting for him. But I certainly wouldn't say no right away if he came waltzing into my life! Plus, we would make a cute couple, don't you think?!
Along with my two children, I have my dog, Jasper. He is a poodle-pom mix. The store called him a Pom-Poo-Poo. Don't tell my children, they think it's the funniest thing in the world.
I also have two kittens. Midnight is our black kitten, with green eyes. I call her the halloween cat. The silver/gray tabby is Gus-Gus. They are crazy, rambunctious and possibly more destructive than Ashley's children and my children put together. But I love them. Except when I have the joy of cleaning out the litter box..maybe if you want to convice me to get rid of them, do it while I'm elbow deep in kitty litter. But, I do love them. And I LOVE what they have done for my children.
As I'm writing this I'm thinking, look at all these "children" I have chosen to care for...how could I be lonely? What could possibly give a man cause to even think he could handle us? Well, I'm sure I have some good qualities to make us worthwhile. I can cook! I can sing, play piano and guitar. I scrapbook, love to travel, and I'm very nerdy. I'm a Comic-Con attendee and I sometimes watch movies, or read books, I probably shouldn't. But I do it, because well, I want to. I don't know that that's really a win. But it could be. I enjoy being outdoors, and being active. I love God. And I'm a Christian. I'm also partly Jewish. I love to celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas. I adore anything nautical or comic book related. I think I am pretty awesome. I don't know about awesomely pretty, but I'm not ugly either. Not to toot my own horn or anything. :-)
Of course, I'm not unhappy with my life. I love where I am. I love that I am confident in my skills as a mom, most days. I'm doing a lot of things that are out of my comfort zone, but I'm finding them to be easier and easier as I just do them. I'm always busy doing something, even if that something is lying out on the lawn reading a book, or taking my kids to the dollar movies. If it's too hot, we're at the canyon or the dinosaur museum. If it's too cold, we're inside playing games, roasting marshmallows in the fire place or snuggling up to a movie. Most days are "go go go". I love that. I love my kids. I love my fuzzy babies. I love my friends and my family. But I do miss having that special someone who I know is meant just for me. I am as John Mayer sings, Perfectly Lonely. But, "And this is not to say, There never comes a day, I'll take my chances and start again, And when I look behind, On all my younger times I have to thank the wrongs that led me to a love so strong" I look forward to having that love that is so strong. And sharing my life and love with my significant other. Zac Levi, take your time, though. I'm still in a hurry up and wait mode. I'm determined to enjoy every moment of my life and make a good lesson of my trials. And take the bumbs and bruises that come along with it. And maybe even the heartaches, and the loves too. After all, we only have one life and it's too short to concentrate on the negative things and put your life on hold while waiting for that person. I am Perfectly Lonely!
Had a little love, but I spread it thin
Falling in her arms and out again
Made a bad name for my game around town
Tore up my heart, and shut it down
Nothing to do
Nowhere to be
A simple little kind of free
Nothing to do
No one but me
And that's all I need
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely (Yeah)
'Cause I don't belong to anyone
Nobody belongs to me
I see friends around from time to time
When their ladies let them slip away
And when they ask me how I'm doing with mine
This is always what I say
Nothing to do
Nowhere to be
A simple little kind of free
Nothing to do
No one to be
Is it really hard to see
Why I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely (Yeah)
'Cause I don't belong to anyone
Nobody belongs to me
And this is not to say
There never comes a day
I'll take my chances and start again
And when I look behind
On all my younger times
I have to thank the wrongs that led me to a love so strong
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely (Yeah)
'Cause I don't belong to anyone
Nobody belongs to me
(It's the way, it's the way, it's the way that I want it)
XOXO, Aimee Lynn
3 comments:
someday your prince will come my dear! And if it is not Zachary Levi... he will be even better! You are the queeen of awesomeness, and only someone equally awesome will do for you! and until then... enjoy every moment of your "perfectly lonely" days. be the queen of your little kingdom and enjoy being you! Love ya!!!
Aimee-There is nothing wrong with who you are or being you and I agree with Ashley, that prince will walk up to you one day and love you for you and also love your children as much as you do. Miss you and the craziness we used to have! When we come to Utah next we'll give you a call for sure. Until then, remember I'm a phone call away and I'm usually ALWAYS at home. Love ya bunches!
if you honestly wonder what you have to offer, ask your kids or your friends. They will tell you. Don't sell yourself short. Hugs
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