Validation TJ Thyne (from Bones)

I love this video and feel like I need to post it at least once every few months!

Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

Now that I've been home in Utah, really home, things are starting to slow down so I can start the process for job and apartment hunting. Neither of these are an easy task. Especially when you add children into the mixture. Of course, I would never trade in my children to make my life easier, not that I don't on occasion fantasize about it. Of course, this only lasts about 2 seconds before I realize how much I would really miss the laughter and the love that can only come from your child. It's special to be somebody's parent. My kids stand up for me. Nobody can call me names, tease me, my own mom can't even tell me to take a shower with out my daughter saying, "My mom smells sweet, she doesn't need to shower." I just love that!
My Christy has been gone for the past two weeks. She will be with her dad until tomorrow. It's just been one - on - one with Wesley. I have enjoyed every second of our special time. He will be leaving to be at dad's for two weeks on Monday morning. I am excited as can be to have special time with my Christy, but I will miss my son so so much. He's a momma's boy. And I'm that boy's momma!
There are many things about Utah that I have missed. The beauty of the mountains. The waterfalls, the nature. My parents, my sisters and my brother. My wonderful friends. The fireworks!! There is something very special about finding those special friends. I've been mostly lucky in that department. I've written about our Thursday dinners before. And although they don't always happen on a Thursday, they are almost every week. I love being with good people, who love me and accept me just the way that I am. Those people can sometimes be hard to find.
As much as I am loving being back in Utah, I am missing a lot about California. For one thing, Comic Con is happening this week. I missed the Chuck Tweet-up Party, at which the cast showed up. Gah! The nerve of some people, having a Chuck party without me! ;-)
Last night as I was lamenting and throwing a mini fit over missing this grand festivity, I realized, I'm not really missing Chuck, Comic Con or California. I am really missing my Ramona Walking Buddy. But I don't like to get too sensitive, because I might cry, so Comic Con seemed a good cover up.
Ashley and I met in church. My first Sunday in that ward, I didn't know why, but I just felt the second she walked into Relief Society, that we HAD to be friends. I smiled at her and waved. Probably several times. She thought I was some weird-o that wouldn't leave her alone! I was nervous about being in a new ward, town...State! A few weeks into my move, I got a job. But my job didn't pay regularly and I was barely making it. Ashley took my two littles in while I worked. And knowing I didn't have any money, she allowed me to pay her as I got paid. I feel horrible sometimes about it, she often would watch them for little to nothing, and she included their lunch and snacks. Our children learned to play together. And as I would hang out for hours after work, we seemed to bond really well. We had a lot in common. Our longing to be at home with our children, our creativity (even though we express our creativity through other outlets), our love of cooking/baking, our poverty, and our carlessness. Often, she would take me out with her foodstamps and buy my groceries, and I would take what little money I had earned from that week, and buy her diapers and wipes. Mind you, we walked to the grocery store or Kmart to purchase all of these things. We walked to WIC offices together, trying to tame our toddlers. Our 4 children (and her one on the way - Ollie) were naughty most of the time. I'm sure some wondered how we did it. We wondered how we did it. Burger King closed their playground. (I'm quite certain our toddlers had something to do with it's demise...)
Ashely is a wonderful friend. She is always kind, optimistic and positive. She's always baking something, even when it's 110 degrees outside and her children are driving her crazy.
She gardens and sows, even into the wee hours of the morning. She definitely deserves the crown of Domestic Goddess. She's the friend that I know I can call on anytime, even at 2am and know that she will listen, completely. She's the friend that came and flushed my dead goldfish, and cleaned out the cupboards that contained a mouse, because I was too chicken to do it. She's the friend who said, "Of course you can do it" When I said that I was done. She believed in me always, even when I couldn't see anything.
I believe that the kind of person you are is reflected in your children. Ashley's children (along with being normal little rambunctious boys) are very kind-hearted. Always wanting to be their best, even when it's hard for them to be. I miss sweet little Caillou's heart felt, "Can I come play at your house?", "Will you come with me", etc..
Just a few days before I had to leave, I stopped by to check on little Ollie real quick before I had to head to a family gathering. When I got inside, Caillou came running straight out of the tub to see me. Great big smile. And Jasper was calling me. "Aimee Aimee" I have never in my life felt so loved, besides my own children of course. These boys are such angels. And just like my children, their horns are holding up those halos. :-)
Every problem we have had has either been solved or been made into something severely comical. Several times we wished for a video camera to film all of our adventures. I'm pretty sure a major network would have picked up our reality show in an instant. We are worth it! There was never, ever a dull moment when we got together. I love our little stitched together family. Yes, in the end of my little Ramona adventure, that is what she became. Ashley was more than just a friend, she was a Godsend. She was a sister. Those boys are just like my nephews. They are a major part of my family. They always will be.
I still don't understand all the reasons God had me go to Ramona, but I will be happy even if it was just to learn, and grow and laugh and gain a sister in all the process.

You're the best, Ashley!

I am so lucky to have such wonderful friends in my life, and even more so to have quite a few of them.

"Yesterday brought the beginning, tomorrow brings the end, and somewhere in the middle we became the best of friends. ~Author Unknown"

Passionate, Productive and Possitive

Kaytlyn, The girl with the golden hair. Kaytlyn came to visit and help us pack and clean up for our move back to Zion. She is amazing. She is a "feel-good" kind of person. I could not imagine life without her.

Our Souveniers from California: Gus-Gus and Midnight
We love our newest additions. They have just given Christy more than I even know how to express.

My dear friend Ashley and I with our darling babies. We walked almost everywhere together: the grocery stores, the WIC offices, McDonalds, Kmart, La Cocina, and Collier Park. We had so many great adventures and made many unforgettable memories.

Christy and Wesley love visiting Grandpa and Siobhan in Ranchita. This was one of the beautiful sunsets out there. It's beautiful.



So, I went to California. I did great things. Great things happened to me. I saw a lot of things I never would have. I learned a lot of things that I never would have. I am so grateful I moved to California. But, one thing I did learn was that, until Zac Levi wants to settle down with this cute girl, California was too expensive for this single mom and her two kids.
I had a lot of trials in Cali. I lost my car and my babysitter in about the same month. My clientele picked up really fast at first, and then wasn't enough to sustain a lifestyle out there. I mean any lifestyle. I even checked out the riverbeds for a place to stay one month while facing eviction.
Through these trials I learned quite a few things though. My family will always be there for me. Maybe not the way I think they should, but they are there regardless; Life is too short to be taken too seriously; Walking is actually enjoyable. I LOVE walking. It's even better if you do it with a friend and her darling little boys; just because a boy likes me, doesn't mean he is worthy of my time; Home is having your children with you; childhood is short, toddlers will be toddlers, etc, etc. The list could go on.
I am grateful for the time I spent in Cali. And I would like to plan to go back sometime. Or maybe, Ashely and Zac could move here?
As for the time being, I am back in Orem, Utah. I love catching up with my friends. Aubrey, Deven, Heather and Caulene took me out to lunch at Cafe Paesan the day after we got into town. And as wonderful as the food was, the reminder that we could just pick up where we left off and continue with our friendships was wonderful. It was refreshing. I am so looking forward to spending more time with them.
I'm excited for the adventures to be had here in Utah. I'm already getting excited to sign up for Sundance Film Festival, Festival of Trees and all of the marvelous activities that Utah has to offer.
As much as I miss my dear family and friends in Ramona, I know that this is where the Lord wants me to be for now. So, I'm holding my head up high and saying "Here I am, Life, give me what you've got". I know I can measure up to whatever life has in store for me.

My goals are to be productive, be positive and be passionate.

So, lets do this!

Our life in pictures...again

This month we have had many adventures. The "ex" came into town for a day and we went to the Wild Animal Park.

Christy LOVED riding on the carousel (sp?) Isn't she just a doll?


Wesley got a hair cut! He looks so handsome. He is very much a "GQ" kindof guy, with a lot of rough and tumble in the mix.


This happens occasionally on our busy days after we have walked through town on some of our adventures.



Note to parents: dont get lice. Lice is a pain. It is yucky, yucky, yuck. And 30 dollars in quarters only does about 6 loads of laundry. I very much dislike doing laundry at the laundromat.

We have had many adventures within the past few weeks. I don't think we have had a dull day yet!

A vent of the "experts"

Some people need to keep their mouths shut.
If you don't like the fact that our kids watch Sesame Street, keep it to yourself. Or use tact. Do you know what that is?

Last night my dear friend, Ashley and I attended our Relief Society activity. It was a sewing activity, and because we had children, we sat in the back corner to keep our children entertained and out of the way. As we were leaving, we were discussing how we missed having the kids channels. Then the lady turned around.

"I would never let my kids watch that KUED trash!"
"Sesame Street is so NEGATIVE!"
"I can't believe your kids go to bed so late"
"Shouldn't they be in bed by 8:00?"
"Blah blah Blah"

Not that I'm really that sensitive, okay, maybe sometimes, but come on people! I don't feel I need to justify the fact that my children sometimes watch tv. Sometimes we even play video games. Shh....shame on me!

So, I was thinking, just what is the best thing to do for my kids?
I know, I'm not a perfect mom, but my children are happy and healthy, even when they watch tv. Granted a little tv is much better than a LOT of tv. But I don't think, at least in my household, that banning the tv is going to make the situation better or worse.

What do you think?
Does it make a difference for you, when you are single parents or parents with a non-involved spouse?

Being a single mom is a lot harder than I ever could have imagined, and so I'm always looking for different ways to do the right thing. But what I have found is there are a lot of different parenting techniques, not one of which is the Right way, or the Only way, or the Best way. In my opinion, children are as different as the techniques that are out there. And only you - their legal guardian/mom/dad/etc - know the best way to work with your kids.

Although, I do find it funny, that many of the people and books that I have heard/read that want to offer me their advice are from those who have never been parents themselves. Not that they can't have great ideas, but I do find it a little offensive when they claim to be experts or drs, or whatever.

Okay, I'm done with my little vent. But what do you think? Thoughts?

It's possible that I love technology more than boys...

I have learned so much through these past months of being here in Ramona. As you know, from reading my blog, I've learned about being an adult, about loving my family. This month I've been trying to focus on all the things I have to be grateful for. Not that I have been very good at it lately. But this morning, as I was sitting around at work, I went through some of my favorite church puplications. Gordon B. Hinckley's, “A Prophet’s Counsel and Prayer for Youth,” has always been a favorite of mine. I love the "Be's".

1. Be grateful.

2. Be smart.

3. Be clean.

4. Be true.

5. Be humble.

6. Be prayerful.

Under Be grateful, it says this:

"Be grateful.

There are two little words in the English language that perhaps mean more than all others. They are “thank you.” Comparable words are found in every other language, such as gracias, merci, danke, obrigado, domo.

The habit of saying thank you is the mark of an educated man or woman. With whom is the Lord displeased? He names “those who confess not his hand in all things” (D&C 59:21). That is, those who walk without grateful expression. Walk with gratitude in your hearts, my dear friends. Be thankful for the wonderful blessings which are yours. Be grateful for the tremendous opportunities that you have. Be thankful to your parents, who care so very much about you and who have worked so very hard to provide for you. Let them know that you are grateful. Say thank you to your mother and your father. Say thank you to your friends. Say thank you to your teachers. Express appreciation to everyone who does you a favor or assists you in any way.

Thank the Lord for His goodness to you. Thank the Almighty for His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ, who has done for you what none other in all this world could do. Thank Him for His great example, for His tremendous teachings, for His outreaching hand to lift and help. Think about the meaning of His Atonement. Read about Him and read His words in the New Testament and in 3 Nephi in the Book of Mormon. Read them quietly to yourself and then ponder them. Pour out your heart to your Father in Heaven in gratitude for the gift of His Beloved Son.

Thank the Lord for His marvelous Church restored in this great season of history. Thank Him for all that it offers you. Thank Him for friends and loved ones, for parents and brothers and sisters, for family. Let a spirit of thanksgiving guide and bless your days and nights. Work at it. You will find it will yield wonderful results." (Gordon B. Hinckley, “A Prophet’s Counsel and Prayer for Youth,” New Era, Jan. 2001, 4)

Although life isn't necessary going the way I want it to, there are many things I am grateful for.
Here's a short list:

• Family - I love my family. My children are my whole world. My sisters and brother are amazing. My mom is one smart cookie. And my dad is so supportive and understanding. My Aunts are awesome. Christy and Siobhan sure know how to make me smile and are great listeners. My Uncles are pretty darned cool too. And I have the cutest Grandpa in the world. And my Grammie, I love getting letters from her. Even my cousins are amazing.
  
• Friends - I don't even know how I got so lucky in this department. I mean, Aubrey has been my friend since we were what, like 11 or 12. She's pretty and smart, She also has good taste in music and her whole family is like my second home. I love the Harrison family. I miss our Thursday Dinners. Heather, Deven, Aubrey, sometimes Caulene, and I would get together and take turns making dinner. I love them. Ashley has been my lifesaver out here in Ramona. I don't think I could laugh so hard with anyone about being dirt poor and facing homelessness with as much class as we do. Okay, maybe there's no class about it. But I'm pretty sure that the streets and sidewalks of Ramona would be less beautiful without me and my waddling pregnant friend walking through town. Jenn has also been a lifesaver. She has been a source of much relief, especially for my children. It's so good to know that I can have my children be somewhere safe. And I appreciate having someone to talk to.
  
• Jasper, my dog. I love my poodle. I love the companionship and the security that comes from having a canine in the house. Even if he is small. (Sylar's mom found him! So, I'm down to just one dog, again!)
  
• Facebook and Twitter -I love being able to just voice about anything. Even if nobody really reads it, I'm grateful to have somewhere to openly vent to everyone and noone all at the same time. It's also great to connect with all these wonderful people!
  
• Technology. I love my computer, I love internet. I love my refrigerator. I love gaming in the middle of the night because I can't sleep. It's important to take out that frustration somewhere. I love my Iphone.
  
• Food, mostly in the form of chocolate or La Cocina. I wouldn't complain if it were italian either.
• CHUCK - I love laughing.
• TV on DVD - I don't get any channels in my apartment. And I love rewatching my favorite shows. Chuck, Psych, House, Chuck, Heroes, Bones, TruBlood, Chuck
• My apartment - I'm so grateful for a roof over my head.
• My feet and my double stroller - they get me everywhere!
• The Gospel - I'm grateful for my faith. Without it I would have nothing.
  

Well, that's a good list for now. If you weren't mentioned, it's not because I don't love you.

I am grateful for all that I have and depending on the day, I'm even grateful for the trials, because I know that they will only make me stronger. I do wish though that my life would be a little more boring and I wouldn't mind having someone to share all this excitement with once in a while. You know, a special someone. But that will come in time, I'm sure. It has to. God has promised that he wont give us trials that we aren't capable of handling. So, I am certain that these trials will pass and that there is something greater, a light at the end of the tunnel, after all this "garbage".

We had an earthquake this morning here at 4:04. It was a 4.4 earthquake.

This last week, I was doing my usual drive to Castaic for the "dropping off kids" point, I had my Aunt Christy with me! We were driving through traffic, well, more like stopping in the traffic. That's something I've learned about LA. There are very few times during the day that there arent at least 1,000 people on the road. Anyway, as we were stopped and complaining about life and traffic and such, this motorcycle zoomed on past us. The girl hanging on back was also hanging out her backside. My pictures didn't turn out so well, so I'm not posting them this time, but just picture it yourself. Poor thing is going to have quite the fanny-burn. I'm not sure what was covered.

Since I have moved out here to Ramona, I have spent a lot of time with my family. and oh how I love my Auntie Christy Lynn. She is easily my best best friend! I feel so blessed to be out here to help her out and be helped out. Actually, I love ALL of my family, including the people that are adopted into our family. :-)

I think as I grow older, I am learning that about life. There isn't anything more important than family. Nope, nothing could be as delightful as holding your own baby, advice from your father, or having a girls night with sisters. I LOVE FAMILY!

I'm very grateful that I have my family. Especially since I became the single mom. I don't know where or what I would be without the support of my family. And the ever patient listening skills of my Auntie Christy Lynn. I LOVE YOU!